If I Could Go Back to Those First Mom Days...

I truly believe that becoming a mother is one of the hardest — if not the hardest — transitions a woman can go through. And no amount of preparation can truly prepare you for it. Not to say you shouldn’t prepare… it’s just one of those things you can’t fully understand until you’re living it.

Sometimes I wish I could go back to those first days — not to change anything, but to be there with myself. I wish I could show up as a more experienced mom and offer my younger self a hug, some hope, and a few gentle words of encouragement.

Since I can’t, I’ll offer them here. If you’re a new mom in those hazy, heart-wrenching, beautiful early days — this is for you.

💭 Stop trying to do everything the internet tells you to do.

Yes, I see the irony in saying that in a blog post — but it’s true. Most people mean well, but the internet has become too much. Everyone has advice. And what works for someone else may not work for you. That doesn’t make you wrong — it just makes you a mom learning her baby.

🔍 You don’t need to Google everything.

In those early days, I was afraid everything was a sign something was wrong. And Google usually just made my fears worse. Trust your instincts. Trust your pediatrician. You don’t have to have all the answers at 3 a.m.

⏳ It’s okay to not love every moment.

I used to read those “Soak it all in” posts and feel guilty that I didn’t love every second. But some moments are just… hard. Breastfeeding can be painful. You’re exhausted. Your baby’s sleep patterns are wild. Not loving every moment doesn’t mean you don’t love your baby — or that you’re not grateful.

🫂 You are not alone.

It might feel like no one understands — like you’re barely hanging on while the rest of the world keeps spinning. But you are not alone. Every mom has felt this. Even the Instagram influencer who bounced back in two weeks. Even your mom. Even the pastor’s wife. We’ve all felt it.

🩹 Your body is still healing.

Give it time. “Bouncing back” is a myth. I know you want to feel normal again, but pushing too hard too soon only sets you back further. You deserve rest. You deserve grace.

🕊️ It’s okay to miss who you were.

It’s a real kind of grief. Becoming a mom is beautiful — but it’s also a loss. A loss of freedom, of identity, of the version of you who didn’t carry this much responsibility. Missing her doesn’t make you less of a mother. It makes you human.

🤱 Your baby doesn’t need a perfect mom — just a present one.

Show up. Love them. Hold them. Take breaks. Cry when you need to. That’s enough.

If you’re in the thick of it right now: you’re going to be okay. It will get better. It will get easier. And through it all — even on the days it doesn’t feel like it — you’re doing great.

- Hannah